Because I want this blog to be accessible to everyone, I've minimized references to my faith throughout most of the posts, so I'll dedicate this one to making it clear that Jesus is the only thing getting me through (with some help from the baby he's allowed me to have at just the right time). And I am sure it is only through Him I will ever be able to forgive completely. My theology is deepening through this: I'm coming to understand the breach of trust humanity has had with God, and soon, I hope, the depth of His forgiveness, through the destruction in my marriage.
I consider myself a basic non-categorical Christian, raised in a variety of Evangelical churches but using in my own life a blend of practices for the worship of Christ throughout history. (Of Christ, only; to put it in theological terms I am ecumenical but not a universalist.)
My husband is from a similar background, but his faith has been a bit shakier than mine (not that mine is very strong!) for a long time now. He admitted yesterday to failing me spiritually. And I had told him, the day before, that this was a crisis point not only for our marriage but for his faith. I will stay with him if he decides he is no longer a Christian, as long as he doesn't cheat on me again, but he needs to make a decision about that as well. His adultery was only possible in a mental environment where he had lost moral certainty. E&M challenged us to decide if our marriage is valuable enough to us to save; I challenge my husband to decide if his faith is.
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